Terrible Tarot Illustrated Reading: Miss Solar Eclipse

Miss Solar Eclipse found me from my first tarot card reading recipient, Tawanda, who shared her reading on Facebook. “I want one!” Miss Solar Eclipse said, kind of like Veruca Salt from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, although this was better and much more important than candy.

First, Miss Solar Eclipse actually asked me three questions all rolled into one:

“Will I find love and marry again or have I already “been there done that”?” Whoa there, that’s complicated!

So I guided her to simplify it a bit, and gave her a few examples.

She went with: “What’s in store for my love life?” 

My tarot cloth is from Goddessprovisions.com

The card I drew with her in mind (and thank you, Miss Solar Eclipse, for sending some of your own energy my way since you couldn’t be here in person) was the Eight of Cups.

My interpretive illustration of the eight of cups.

When I picked up the card, I was surprised.  I wasn’t sure whether it was on its reversed side or its upright side. Some people don’t read the reversed cards because they have different meanings than the upright version. I didn’t want it to be confusing. But given Miss Solar Eclipse’s question, and even the original three point question she had initially asked, I believed both meanings (upright and reversed) made sense to understand her situation. 

Upright, it looked like Miss Solar Eclipse was feeling rejected and ready to give up on love. She was considering turning her back on what she used to really care about, in love, and maybe even in life. Like, she may have been thinking that finding love should not be her priority. However, I believed she would find love, because the reversed version of the card seems to suggest a joyful celebration of love is coming. This love will look very different than she imagined it would look like when she was younger. And she will be content with that. 

There was also something interesting I noticed on the card. The sun and moon are together as one, like an eclipse. So it looks like, in the future, this partnership will be more harmonious and more equal than previous ones. 

After I explained my interpretation of this card to Miss Solar Eclipse, she thanked me and told me it was “spot on”. She wanted to talk to me more about the situation, and I learned that she has been in a wonderful relationship that is all she could hope for and need, but was starting to be concerned about where it was going because her partner seemed distant recently. I tried to access my third eye and give her some more advice. 

It turns out her partner has a valid reason to be distant, because he is grieving. I advised Miss Solar Eclipse to continue to be compassionate towards his grieving and do what she can to support him at this time. I knew it would be hard, but she needed to try to let go of the questioning and doubt. His pulling away seemed like a normal response. 

The next morning, I awoke to another message from Miss Solar Eclipse. She told me she had to take her lover to the hospital this morning. He was hiding how sick he was, so she wouldn’t worry.

I believe everything will be okay for Miss Solar Eclipse and her wonderful relationship with Mr. Lunar Eclipse, as long as she keeps her doubt in check, and Mr. Lunar Eclipse is able to heal. 

I am sending love and healing to both of you, and wish you that joyful celebration the cards suggested will come true  in the future ❤

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Um, I know I said that these tarot readings would be written by an insecure person…but…as cheesy as this one is, it’s a testament to my intuition and full heart. I guess my tarot readings and intuition are more secure than I thought, because…Miss Solar Eclipse asked me to do a real in person reading when it’s safe to go outside and meet with strangers again. Honestly that scares the bajeezus outta me, but I will definitely try it. In 2023?!

Part 2 of the Dead-ication: My Grampa’s teeth weren’t real AND…

Sorry to keep you waiting. That is how cliffhangers work, afterall. 

On the last episode of “All About my Ancestor Angels,” I spoke about my dad’s side of my family. I didn’t get a chance to know my Grandma Lillian very well, but I wanted her to be included in my blog’s dedication for “inspiring my aesthetic and giving me an appreciation for the finer things in life.” 

Exhibit A

Then I told some stories about my Grampa, Arthur. I left you there, in the story where, upon spying on him in the bathroom, I saw him suddenly reach into his mouth and take out his teeth!! In two rows! What the heck? My Grampa had fake teeth?! 

“Is this magic?!” I blurted out as he put his dentures into a glass of water. 

That is when he said the words, the words I will never forget.

“Magic isn’t real, Laura.”

WHAT???! I had already made countless magic potions by this age. And even if no one tried them, I still knew they were magic. And what about the magic of Christmas and Santa Claus? Well, he was Jewish, so he wouldn’t know what he was talking about there.

What of the magic of playing outside? Of nature? Of the universe? Of the beautiful things that show us we are all connected, when we take the time to look for them?

It’s magical having ancestors who pass down their gifts to you. Magic is transcending generational struggles as well. Magic is leaving the world a better place than you found it, for your children and everyone.

Magic is to be born, and to experience your death. Magic is what we all share, and all have in common. Whether we believe it or not. 

At the age where my Grampa crushed my magical dreams, I wasn’t yet capable of spewing out the kind of wise gal, sappy stuff I just said. But deep inside I knew he was wrong. I knew he was missing out on magic, and I felt sad for him. 

I dedicate this website to my Grampa, for giving me my sense of humor and my stubbornness.

I was shocked when my grandfather said that. But I still believed in magic, because of my Uncle Stephen. 

He was my mom’s younger brother (by 10 years). He had died of a traumatic brain injury shortly before I got the shock of my life by seeing my Grampa’s dentures.

My Uncle Stephen was my everything. He still is.

He taught me about what it meant to be an environmentalist before it was cool. To him, every day was Earth Day. I know this because when I found a treasure trove of his belongings in my grandmother’s house (when she died), I found a pin that said this. It came from the late 80s.

Right before he died, he graduated college with a degree in Geography.  He was an environmentalist before it was hip. And he was hip!

In the history of MTV, I was probably one of the youngest people to be allowed to watch it, because my Uncle was glued to the channel, as I would be years later

Stephen loved to be by the ocean as much as I do. Though most kids would be super excited when they got a gift box that is made to look like a treasure chest, I think a lot of those kids would be disappointed when they opened mine up. Inside the box, I found a dead horseshoe crab body, fully intact. A mermaid’s purse (which is actually magickal, I wish I still had it!). And a plethora of sea glass, rocks, and shells. I don’t know how he fit it all in there!

I think the other kids would have dreamed for the box to be filled with fancy precious gemstones and such…but don’t worry, he gave me those too. His selections of rocks showed that he clearly knew I would never outgrow glittery, sparkly, bright colors, so he gave me a piece of Peacock ore, which I still treasure today:

He also gave me many others such as:

Amethyst, which is still to this day my go-to favorite quartz crystal 


Pyrite. He knew it would impress me because I was a fool, for gold! 😆

So, here’s the first reason I am dedicating this blog to him: he made me into the fearless, eco-feminist, crystal & sea witch that I am today. But wait, there’s more.

The epic yet tiny squirt gun fight

He showed me the magic of turning my fears into superpowers. One night, after an epic yet tiny squirt gun fight we had together, a thunderstorm was a-brewin’. I was shivering in my little little timbers.  

You’re scared of thunderstorms?!” Uncle Stephen exclaimed, in shock, like no one in my family ever had been.

He took me out of the bed my mom had already tucked me into, and sat with me out on the steps of our back porch. He held me close as I jumped at every rumble.  Eventually, we were both oohing and awing at the bolts of lightning as if we were watching a Fourth of July fireworks finale. 

“See, there’s nothing to be afraid of,” he said. “You’re safe.” 

It was true, because my great grandmother was struck by lightning twice as a child, and she lived well into her 90s! 

Now, every time I am afraid of something, I think of him, and within no more than a few days, a thunderstorm will approach. If he can’t make that happen for whatever reason, then my mom and I will hear this song in the car. 

I know his presence is always with me, but sometimes I feel him more than other times.  One time I was in the car with my mother, and I said, “I wish I could feel Uncle Stephen all the time. I don’t think he is here with me right now.” I started to cry. I still miss him everyday after 30 years of him being gone. Merely a minute after I doubted his presence, a small rainbow appeared over our destination.

But the time I felt him with me the most was when………………………..

Yup! You guessed it! Another cliffhanger! 

Until next time, my pretties!

We are Halfway to Halloween! Annnnd…it’s Beltane!

Which also means it’s less than three days from halfway to my birthday!

For those of you non-witches, you may be wondering what the F Beltane is. But don’t worry, I didn’t even realize it was today. I’m a bad witch.

Or, I’ll just blame it on this time warp named the “stay at home order.” Recalling what day it it is can be hard.

But in reading more about Beltane, I found myself relating:

This holiday is a celebration that honors the divine balance in the union of masculine and feminine. Having reached maturity after their long, wintry separation, Lord and Lady can now come together as one and give birth to new life, ideas, passions, projects, and wonderful expressions of unbridled sensuality.

from Sagegoddess.com: “What is Beltane and how do I celebrate it?”

I haven’t seen my boyfriend Ryan in over 50 days! What a parallel situation to my own life! This Lady and her Lord are totally ready for:

It does seem a little premature since we still have to wait until May 8.

Speaking of premature celebrations, I cluelessly celebrated Beltane yesterday instead of today. I had an urge to get outside and see what I could find in the grass. I carefully curated bark, pinecones, leaves, dead hydrangeas, even a loose fallen lichen (I lichen it so much!)

I have been a collage fiend since the stay at home order, but mostly I used my arsenal of glitter glue with fashion and highfalutin travel magazines I got from my air miles expiring since I can’t afford to travel.

Then one day a friend/former professor Kris had shared these really cool collages made out of natural items. I contemplated making something like that. I doubt my art making abilities a lot so I wasn’t sure I’d do it.

But then somehow I created this:

And this:

I do not look amused. I was happy with it, but the hanging greens were getting mixed with my hanging banana curl.

Witch (spelling mistake intended) turned into this:

I wanted to show my parents what I made, but they are my biggest critics. They heckle me at home constantly.

My dad is a wholesale floral consultant, or a FLORACLE, you could say. He sees it all when it comes to plants, flowers, and…crystal vases?

In other words, he knows a lot about what I can’t grow or keep alive.

I thought he’d look at it and be like “You SUCK-ullent!” But actually, he told me it was EXCELLENT! Then he quipped, “You should work at a florist–oh, they’re all going out of business.”

The last thing I made before retiring to bed surrounded by a pile of sticks and pinecones was this sigil:

For those that don’t know, a sigil is a magickal symbol witches can make for a particular purpose (usually kind of selfish ones)

I really wanted to make a sigil, but never did until last night. I have been trying to force myself to read this autographed copy of a sigil making book, thinking it was the only way I could learn to make sigils. I kept telling myself to read the book and then it became this fearful thing where I kept putting it off. I was forcing myself so hard to only learn them that one way.

So I liberated myself and googled it. This is one method of making a sigil.

When I woke up today, I looked at my calendar and was like, is it really May?

Waking up today like this.

I immediately checked facebook while on the toilet.

First I saw: oh hey, it’s Beltane! Then I saw: Oh it’s half-o-ween! (Which honestly I have never heard of before. I wonder if that was someone’s best quarantine contribution).

So Beltane is kind of a pagan holiday that celebrates the end of winter hibernation and embracing the coming of Summer luvin. It’s recommended that you work with plants and get out and enjoy the outdoors. Maybe even naked. Probably not a good idea unless you live in an unpopulated forest like this:

Photo by Zack Melhus on Pexels.com. I am pretty sure this is a miniature house and landscape and not really my dream house.

But yesterday my subconscious mind was like, “Get outside you fool! Soon it is Beltane and you will have nothing to show for it! Pick up the remains of wintery plants so you can make beautiful art out of them!” I guess my subconscious mind didn’t want me to be like a kid who rushes to do his homework in homeroom.

I also want to note that Beltane/May Day/Half-o-Ween is also International Workers’ day. I hope my sigil helps the essential workers. I’m going to make another one too for the workers who have lost their jobs or are furloughed (like me, because how else would I be writing in this blog so much otherwise?)

Finally, I want you to remember that Halloween may be everyday for us gothy folx, but the Halloween most people know of is in danger. So please:

I bet you thought this was Part 2 of my ancestor angels saga!

Well, you thought wrong! *buzzer buzzing*

Today is the first inaugural Illustrated Terrible Tarot reading!

A friend of mine (from way back when) volunteered to be my first illustrated tarot card reading guinea pig (or should I say gerbil, because I had a weird dream about teeny tiny gerbils running around everywhere). 

She chose the pseudonym Tawanda, so I will refer to her as that name.

Tawanda’s question was: 

“What should I do to ensure my family will be ok during the covid 19 shutdown?”

Tawanda was very lucky, because this was only supposed to be a one card reading. But two jumped out at me at once! I couldn’t just ignore their pleas for attention to be read together.

Tawanda’s cards were the 9 of Cups and the Judgement card in reverse.

Tawanda had no idea what that meant. So, I told her. 

The nine of cups is all about making yourself happy and indulging (yes those are NINE wine glasses!)  behind a proud looking guy who is manspreading on a little bench as he thinks about all the wine he will be drinking soon. 

His indulgent mindset is soothing him, and it can for you too when it’s right.  However, moderation is going to be key right now so you can make sure your family is okay during these terrible times.

The judgement card affirms the need for moderation. This card is from the major arcana which makes it a little more powerful of an archetype than the minor arcana (the 9 of cups is part of the minor arcana). Your judgement card was in reverse when I picked it up, so it has a somewhat different meaning than if it was upright. 

It’s showing me that you and your family will rise up against your challenges. In order to achieve this though, you need to focus on the basics and decide to keep things simple.

These cards jumped out together the way they did for a reason. Together, they show me a message that would be different if you only got one or the other. We all know you work so hard as a mom and as an employee and caring for others is what you do. It is fun to indulge and treat yourself, and you deserve the pleasure and self-soothing luxuries! It’s just not the right time for too much of that indulgence.  Soon you’ll need to stick more to just the essentials because we’re still in for a rough ride ahead.

I chose to illustrate the 9 of cups since the Judgment card was reversed so I’ll save it for when it is upright. So here it is in all its glory:

Nine of Cups drawing by Laura

Thank you Tawanda, for allowing me to do a reading for you!

All About my Ancestor Angels: A Dead-ication (Part 1)

First of all, I have a deep connection with my unruly, dysfunctional family. Don’t get me wrong, I love them, but come on!

This is especially true, when they are dead. When people in my family die, weird shit happens. Like, I can’t get rid of them (I don’t want to).

It seems that my mom’s family is more likely to reach out to me from beyond the grave. They’re always with me. Especially my Uncle Stephen and my Grammie, whose name was literally Claire Clair (after marriage).  I’ll get back to the mamas’ side later.

On my dad’s side…well…my grandma Lillian was a force to be reckoned with. In the short period of time Lillian graced me with her presence, she impressed upon me the appreciation of the finer things in life, like mixing juice with seltzer water when you craved soda but also wanted to stay svelte (I am disappointed that “svelte” is not a Yiddish word. I always thought it was. I couldn’t bring myself to use the actual Yiddish word for thin because it was boring).

Lillian gave me my gift for finding fresh scores from thrift stores – a trait I didn’t know could be passed genetically. She was an antique collector. She also collected “fine” art.

thank you to my mother for digging this out of a closet so I could take a picture of it

I like to think that had she lived longer, she would have collected the fine works of her grandchildren. Well, more likely my brother Chad’s work. When we were little, dining at restaurants, sometimes the owners would save the placemats (or paper table covers) that he drew all over.  They would say they were keeping them for when he was “famous.” He’s not famous yet, but he does have his own IMDB page.

When my grampa died of ALS in 2005, I wanted their formica gray and pink boomerang pattern kitchen table from the 1950’s SO BAD, but I wasn’t allowed to take it because supposedly we had “NO ROOM FOR IT!” 

Most of their smaller antiques now live in our basement, which is a graveyard of our dead relatives’ belongings + the remains of the crap I had from moving in and out of apartments when I realized that actually living in apartments was too expensive for the low wages I make.

Lillian died of cancer when I was three years old because, ultimately, she was afraid of doctors. This is a lesson I myself need to conquer. I need a new doctor, like yesterday. Because my doctor, with the fourteen letters in her unpronounceable last name, scares me more than people coming back from the dead. Eh, that isn’t a good comparison because visits from dead people aren’t scary. I don’t want to repeat this family pattern of being scared to face doctors, even though the process of finding a new doctor is truly terrifying.

Lillian and her husband Arthur sitting with baby me

While Lillian showed up to protect me when necessary, (and showed everyone else on my angel team who was boss), she had put on an even bigger show for my mother. Shortly after her passing, my mom noticed doors open and lights going on and off. She felt a presence and knew it was her mother-in-law. 

“Your mother was just here!” my mom cried, waking my sleeping father.

“My mother is dead.” he replied. 👻

Lillian’s whole family when she was younger. She is the left hand side, second person in the (sorta) third row

This site is dedicated to my Grandma Lillian for inspiring my aesthetic and my taste for the finer things in life. 

But wait, I see (more) dead people (to dedicate this to).

Lillian and Arthur were a great love story of my family

Where my mother’s side may have passed down my witchiness, my father’s side passed down my sense of humor. I mean come on, they were Jewish, and if you don’t laugh in this culture, you will just want to cry.

I think I got my smile from my Grampa Arthur.

he was stationed in Panama during WWII

There are so many funny Arthur Stories. I want to share three of them:

Story #1

Arthur was a class clown. His first grade teacher was unimpressed by his antics. One day, she finally decided on his punishment. “Well, if you think you’re such a wise guy,” she said, exasperated, “Let’s see how you fare in the third grade!” He was fine.

Story #2:

One day in middle school, our teachers invited certain grandparents who lived during World War II to be interviewed by us. My Grammie Clair and Arthur opted in to this experience. My Grampa was given THE group of the popular boys that everyone had a crush on. After it was over, these boys, who normally never talked to me, came rushing over to me at lunch. “LAURA!” they exclaimed, “Your Grandpa is SO cool! He was swearing and everything!”

And while I don’t have a photo of my grandparents on that day, here’s one of them at my brother Chad’s school

…no one said anything to me about my grandmother though. 

Story #3

As an insomniatic child, one night I was creeping around, not able to sleep Like, a haunting undead child. My parents were away and Arthur was our house-sitter (not quite sure of his babysitting credentials).

In my parents’ ginormous bathroom, I often unashamedly annoyed my family while they were in there.  Maybe I was curious. Maybe I just liked that bathroom (I mean who wouldn’t? It had a jacuzzi in the middle of it and a weird hallway where my mom stored her clothes in fancy zip up bags on hangers. AND at the end of the hallway, there was a cedar closet, where I would hide during my temper tantrums). Anywho, maybe I was just unashamed and curious about what people do in bathrooms. I had to get my potty jokes from somewhere!

That night, I stood in the bathroom by the sink so I could watch my grampa brush his teeth. Instead, he reached into his mouth and took out what I thought were all his teeth and his jaw in two pieces. I was shocked. I was wowed. What the heck was he doing and what kind of sorcery was this!?  I must have mumbled something out loud about it being magic. And that’s when he told me………

……………To Be Continued…………

Look our for it in a few days!

Come Taste my Magick Brou(hahaha)

Welcome to my first blog entry!

If you haven’t started there, please fly your broomsticks over to the “About” page, first.

3…2…1! Blast off!

Photo by Matheus Bertelli on Pexels.com

I am finally and officially ready for the launch of this website!

This morning I woke up from a dream about an imaginary restaurant with the best slushies in dreamland (I visit this place on a semi recurring basis). I thought it was real, and was planning to get up, get into my car, and go there…but there were two problems: I can’t go there because we are homebound from COVID 19, AND it isn’t real.

So, I got up, made breakfast, took a shower, and decided to get my bedroom sanctuary all tidy (I even made my bed with a little help from my friends…)

After that, I got into my power suit, slipped on my usual bling, plus some extra flair, and put on makeup so I could get into a powerful mindset for starting this project. 💎

Then I went outside to document the whole look for you, so you can feel my POWER! I even posed for you in natural, sunny light by some trees! How rare am I?! (that’s the first interrobang I’ve used in a long ass time! And if you didn’t know that that was an actual form of punctuation, well, you’re welcome!)

See what I mean by flair?

Since I’m already in my power outfit, and burning a blue candle on my altar surrounded by crystals (to keep my throat chakra open…or perhaps a bit overpowered, but never you mind that). I also drew some oracle cards next to my computer that I picked out to help me embody (hopefully my own body) my blogging goals and work on this site……..

This is “The Universe Has your Back” oracle deck that you can get here

I was hoping to be able to release this website into the universe yesterday on the new moon at 10:25 PM last night, but failed. So, this will have to do.

Now it is time to set my intentions for this site and manifest them. I did manage to do my new moon magick work for the blog yesterday by cleansing, charging and arranging my crystals on my grid and updating my altar. I tried to watch the new moon rise…but I couldn’t find it in the sky 😆😆😆 (hopefully these emojis hint that I am joking here).

So, without further ado, I shall set my intentions for this website in my magickal way that I often do:

Intention Affirmation

May all the witches and (and non witches!) and even warlocks (like my Dad!) alike feel at home here. May they be open to my twisted (and sometimes unicorny 🦄) sense of humor. This website shall be a source of joy and laughter, but never a source of cruelty (unless you believe that banishing evil forces in the world is unjust).

May people who use the phrase “live, laugh, love” perhaps find a more realistic type of slogan. That shit makes me cringe.

May my visitors be sensitive, but not so sensitive that they are offended. I am a realist and tell it like it is. However, goodness and integrity will drive me through my words and actions on this site. I will infuse it with love and beauty (my aesthetic, is best described as day glow or pastel goth but sometimes regular goth too).

May People of all spiritual backgrounds and lack thereofs be drawn to this site and be entertained. They shall find reverence in the relevance of my words.

Visitors will find their own ways to contribute to my content by letting me interpret their dreams or pull tarot cards, offer to be interviewed, ask questions, share their own work that I can promote in my links page, and contribute further in ways I cannot yet forsee (as I’m an extremely weak psychic).

And of course, you all have free will, so if you want none of this, be my guest and leave (wait, is that a contradiction?)

This will be the beginning of the growth of my humorist writing and the sharing of my experiences with the craft.

It shall be done.

Throwing in my glitter unicorn protective shield drawing as a security system.

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